A story I want to share...

This is a story that have touched a lot of souls...some shed tears...some learns from it...others...they their own comments...so here it is...


4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."


At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."


After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?


After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

First day of Ramadhan...

Salam...

Last night went to Terawih with my dearest and of course I can't perform the solat as others do due to my condition. But I'm glad I completed it and I feel great that The Almighty has allowed us to come to this Holy month.

It comes once a year and it brings plenty of fadhilat to all us Muslims. So i hope we could make use of this opportunity given by The Most Merciful to the fullest.

Happy Ramadhan Al Mubarak.

Trasher Wonderkids

Last night, saw a great soccer game played by my fave team...and guess what...they trashed their opponent. 6 goals to 1. Wow...we did not expect that on the first day of the season. 2 goals by the captain himself. 1 from a new guy...hopefully with more to come from him. the first goal was a blast, a great curler from the Brazilian. The old scoot scored too...with a very simple header. The last goal came from a guy who a year ago was deem that his career stopped when his leg broke...but no way man...his back and his 'animal instinct' was there when he got the last netting.
All in all it was a great game, i hope they will at least keep up the same performance...not only do it half of the season.


Go Gooners.

It’s “The Moment” of my life…. Posted November 12, 2008

8 November 2008, 1045, Masjid Kampung Sekolah, Juru, Pulau Pinang…”The Moment” I’ve been waiting for this past few months…or should i say my whole life…He held my hand…lafaz the Ijab…and i replied with the Qabul, but the first witness say…”you took time to reply…try again”….at that moment my heart pounded a thousand times a second…’oh god,will this be a long one’ i wondered.so i repeat,this time i was ready to replied once the Ijab stops.”Sah”…both the witness said….then…relief….

this is beautiful:Posted March 2, 2008

this i took from a student of mine…i find it so beautiful,amazing and meaningful…meaningful upon myself especially…so i hope all of u do enjoy it as well…to Jasmine…u abstracted a very wonderful and excellent poem…keep it up.

Imagine if we never lied
Imagine if we never tried
To be something we’re not
We forgot how it feels
To be tight
To be close
To be real

And I miss you
And I wish you were here
I’d stop breathing
if you said you don’t care anymore

You’re caught up in your plastic life
Changing right before my eyes
I used to know you
like the back of my mind
and that part of you died

And I miss you
And I wish you were here
I’d stop breathing
if you said you don’t care anymore

I watch you from a distance
I remember all of those instances
When you smile
Whe you laugh
When you crash
When I’m there to catch you when you
fall

And I miss you
And I wish you were here
I stopped breathing
When you said you don’t care anymore

Tell me that you’re doing fine
(And I wish you were here)
I still remember every time

And everyone I know will say
That you are always apart of me
And I miss you like you never knew

Something interesting… Posted March 10, 2008

I found this from some1’s blog…so i think that person wont mind if i share this wit my readers as well…so enjoy people…

I’ve learned….
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned….
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….
That just one person saying to me, "You’ve made my day!" makes my day.

I’ve learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned….
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….
That you should never say "no" to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned….
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned….
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.

I’ve learned….
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned….
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned….
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned…..
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned….
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned….
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned….
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned….
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling
their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned….
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned….
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…..
Those opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned….
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I’ve learned….
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned….
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned….
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned….
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist,
that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned….
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done...

First...

Welcome...

This is my second blog page...however, the first one has been abandoned due to lack of interest from others...so why not try another establishment, right? This blog will contain a lot of things later on from personal feelings, personal moments, personal opinion and other stuff I deem interesting to share with all of you.

So for today, I may start with transferring all the scripts from my first blog here...adios.